The Invisible War

—> I’ve edited this down and included links to things I thought might benefit from sources, feel free to click through for the full post. 



This post, in particular, is addressed to men. By nature of gender disparity, men are in a unique position to be taken seriously when they raise objections to casual language and humor regarding rape. Men are in a unique position to prove to rapists that not all men take rape lightly.

I get it—you’re a decent guy. You would NEVER rape anybody. Rape jokes have never made YOU go out and rape someone. They never would; they never could. You just don’t see how it matters.

Here is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down…

Because 6% of college-aged men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act—and that’s the conservative estimate. Other sources double that number (pdf). 

People accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?

Rapists do. Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

If 1 one in 20 guys is a rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, then it is almost a statistical certainty that you’ve hung out with a rapist. It’s not like they announce themselves. But, it’s very likely that in some of these interactions someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that it was just a joke. And so you laughed. 

Or maybe you didn’t laugh… it wasn’t a very funny joke… so you didn’t say anything at all. 

And, decent guy who would never condone rape… when you laughed, or, when you were silent… That rapist was in the group with you, and thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. He felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades. 

And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, or want to throw up, or disturb you, or bother you, or make you feel like maybe you should not participate in that kind of humor anymore, not abiding it in your presence, not greeting it with silence…

Well, you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim. 

And, the funniest rape joke I could find by stand up comic Ever Mainard.

(Source: juniperjelly)

Rape culture is a concept used to describe a culture in which rape and sexual violence are common and in which prevalent attitudesnorms, practices, and media normalize, excuse, tolerate, or even condone sexual violence, victim blamingsexual objectification, and trivializing rape. 

Rape culture does not just encourage men to proceed after a woman says “no”, or teach them that a lack of physical resistance is an invitation, or that men are to assert ownership over whichever female body they desire. Rape culture also tells women not to claim ownership over their own bodies. It informs women that they should not desire sex and that saying yes makes them bad women.

And so women shoulder the blame. We watch our drinks when we are out, watch where we park, how late we work, who is around when we go outside, and so much more.  We teach our daughters not to get into cars with boys, even if they are friends, to not be alone if they can – don’t separate when out, or go to the bathroom alone, etc.

And the reason we do all that is not because we think we can truly alter circumstances beyond  our control, but because almost all of us have at one time or another been assaulted, even if that assault didn’t lead to rape.

We know that society in general will put blame on us when we are attacked and in doing so take away the responsibility of men to just not rape.

When the mitigating circumstance is the way we look, or dress, or act and not on the fact that any of this is not implicit permission to use our bodies the way a man sees fit, then we all participate in ‘blame the victim’ when it comes to rape.


Marry me.

It takes very little for me to be into a guy who is sporting something pro-feminist.


Marry me.

It takes very little for me to be into a guy who is sporting something pro-feminist.

(Source: whoneedsfeminism, via liberallyinclined)



“What happened to you?” I asked.

“Oh, this?” she held it up. “I was in Liberty Park on the 17th [the Six Month Anniversary of the Occupation]. When the cops were pushing us out the park, one of them yanked at my breast.”

“Again?” someone said.

We had all been hearing stories like this. In fact, there had been continual reports of police officers groping women during the nightly evictions from Union Square itself over the previous two weeks.

“Yeah so I screamed at the guy, I said, ‘you grabbed my boob! what are you, some kind of fucking pervert?’ So they took me behind the lines and broke my wrists.”

Actually, she quickly clarified, only one wrist was literally broken. She proceeded to launch into a careful, well-nigh clinical blow-by-blow description of what had happened. An experienced activist, she knew to go limp when police seized her, and how to do nothing that could possibly be described as resisting arrest. Police dragged her, partly by the hair, behind their lines and threw her to the ground, periodically shouting “stop resisting!” as she shouted back “I’m not resisting!” At one point though, she said, she did tell them her glasses had fallen to the sidewalk next to her, and announced she was going to reach over to retrieve them. That apparently gave them all the excuse they needed. One seized her right arm and bent her wrist backwards in what she said appeared to be some kind of marshal-arts move, leaving it not broken, but seriously damaged. “I don’t know exactly what they did to my left wrist—at that point I was too busy screaming at the top of my lungs in pain. But they broke it. After that they put me in plastic cuffs, as tightly as they possibly could, and wouldn’t loosen them for at least an hour no matter how loud I screamed or how much the other prisoners begged them to help me. For a while everyone in the arrest van was chanting ‘take them off, take them off’ but they just ignored them…”

(Source: anticapitalist, via reagan-was-a-horrible-president)